Ah Long

Well, this is the promotional video for Ah Longs. They actually have pretty good reasons. But you gotta understand some Malay to enjoy this clip! GO AH LONGS!

Reasons to Become an Evil Villain

1. Popularity
Villains are somehow, executives in this field. They are, yes, dam popular! For instance, Peter Parker from Spiderman.... his has issues with society. He's a social outcast, a complete retard. All heroes are retards. Hey, but wait. Take a look at Norman Osbourn, he's a villain, he's freaking popular! Whatever you do, most likely it will end up in the papers. So get it right. Hero=Social Retards, Villains=Public Celebrity


Norman Osbourn. Super popular evil villain


Peter Parker. Hero. Social outcast

2. You get to laugh maniacally
No one, not even God has ever heard Spidy or Batman laugh like hell. The type of laugh when you see this guy being hammered to death by a bunch of fanatics with ham choi held by their hands. No! And trust me... no one ever will hear them laugh like that. Well, everyone has an obsession with the maniac laugh. Heck, you've even done it once or twice in your civilian life. But as a villain, you will never get the amount of chances to do it with a career in villainy.

3. Christmas all year round
Super bad guys are never broke. Not only are they never broke but they always have more resources than the hero could ever hope for. Apparently the villain racket pays very well. I hear the tax breaks are good too.


Significantly poor.


Another villain's trash is another heroes treasure.


Cool gear all year round!

4. Hot chicks dig evil guys
You never see an evil villain with a busted ass woman. Sure, they may be dirty, rotten, and out to steal your empire, but you can always kill them if they get out of hand. Studies show that breasts of women who hang out with evil guys are an average of two cups bigger than the nice dudes chicks. Studies don’t ever lie.

5. You will be safe from everyday accidents
Evil villains are never killed in car accidents. It just doesn’t happen. You won’t slip in the shower, get smashed by a falling piano, or die of food poisoning. It's just not tragic enough for a villain to die like that. The only way you can be killed is in an explosion created by the hero by exposing the one flaw in your plan that 'no one' could ever 'possibly' foresee. Yeah, this often happens.

6. You don’t have to worry about anyone killing you
Evil Villains simply can not be killed. People may think you are dead but you will secretly be lounging in an easy chair on your secret desert island hideout planning your next caper. The only way you can be taken out is by another villain eviler than yourself who will subsequently take over your identity and continue upon your path of world domination. Sad job but satisfying.

7. You can kill anyone you want
You won’t go to jail. For some strange reason, cops never come to bust Evil villains at their homes even when the evidence is overwhelming. You could kill Superman on a live video feed in front of the entire planet and not one cop would try to arrest you. They can’t even arrest you for the stash of plutonium you have in your shed. It is in the charter when you join the union.

8. You get to dress how you want
You can even dress in the most outrageous outfits while demanding the world bow to your demands and no one will even make the slightest of snide comment. This could have something to do with the fact that you can kill anyone you want and can’t be killed back. Remember, no one ever made fun of Magnetos helmet…


Wicked outfits!

9. No matter how weak you are, you will be more than a match for any hero facing you
“But Ming, Batman would kick my ass in two shakes…” None of that matters. The sheer newness of your evil plot will confuse the hell out of any good guy. As long as you aren’t doing something that has been done to death (i.e goblin themed villains) you should have no problem getting your plans off the ground.

The Real Santa Is Coming For You

I'm buying time with this post actually. Doing an up coming one about Evil Villains. Now let's check out what this post is all about.

You think Santa Claus is a jolly fella? The red man in some furry suit who carries around a big bag filled with THINGS. Oh.... It could be gifts... or something else. Oh wait till you find out lil boys and girls. He only brings gifts to the ones that are good. If your not.... oh hohoho...... Run kids, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

Check this clip out!
P.S: Be good children. Trust me. =)

Captain Planet

Which hero chants 'By YOUR powers combined, I am Captain Planet!' Doesn't this sound familiar? Of course it does! It's our very own, eco-friendly super Hero! He dislikes pollution and naughty little kids! Oh how we miss him. His icy charms, grass hair and tight red lingerie. Mmmmm... Just makes u wanna say, 'Hei Jimmy, come here and meet Captain Planet... Now Jimmy don't be grumpy or you'll weaken Captain Planet.' Did I just say weaken?

Oh yes! Apparently, Captain Planet is immune to bullets, cannons, laser beams, hard core bashing but he can't withstand used tissue, oil spills, any kind of shit and anything that pollute the environment. Sweet Confucius, he's right!

Watch this clip. It's titled the death stare. Here's how it goes, some crazy twin sisters went back to the past and was auctioning the atomic bombs to the Axis. And Hitler wanted the bomb without paying 100 Billion something. So all hell breaks lose and here comes Captain Planet. But the funny thing is, he isn't prepared for the stare that Hitler gave. Captain Planet said, I'm not prepared for the level of hatred radiating from that monster (Hitler). ACKTHUM!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_V5fOqZYdmE

Death Stare

Based on the movie 300: Men Are From Sparta, Women Are From Persia…

A few years back, a writer penned what was called at the time “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus” in order to explain relationships to the masses. I never read the book because the initial analogy was so weak. Mars and Venus are planets… on which it is impossible for humans to survive. Since they don’t have 24 hour department stores on Venus and slabs of salty bacon never seem to cook up right on Mars the idea really doesn’t make any sense at all. Time for zero to interject with some logic we can all understand.

It is late in the day and the seas are rough; you and your paltry 300 soldiers look out upon a hundred nations of the Persian empire descending upon you. Someone makes an off-color joke about how women need to be in the kitchen. You laugh. The next thing you know Xerxes is knocking on your front door with a nice cold glass of ownage he expects you to drink from heartily or you won’t get any pussy for weeks.

Yes folks, women are Persians. Men are Spartans. It has been like that since the beginning of time… even before the great Spartan clash. The trick here is: putting it in words you can understand. Let’s begin…

During an argument a woman, much like Xerxes, will hit you with a million different points. Men usually stick to one solitary point and defend it to the death. If you hold your ground well you can stave off thousands of those points. The more you stop, the more come. The sky is darkened by arrows of illogic. Of course, we fight in the shade…

Also, much like the Persians, a woman will give you a chance to give up. A chick once told me “You would be so much of a better person if you were my boyfriend.” At the time I didn’t realize it but looking back I see what she really meant was “All of your enemies will kneel at your feet, if you will but kneel before mine.” It is a good thing I had a kink in my leg that day and gave that rotten cunt a visual demonstration of what kicking rocks was…

Sometimes, you are betrayed by one of your own. Much like the dirty traitor who showed the Persians the old goat path. One of your own boys may give up the location of your weakness, whether on purpose or not. Women are good at finding things out. When their millions can’t beat your 300 at the narrow pass, meaning they can’t fade your logic no matter how hard they try, they will find a way to sneak around behind you and hit you right on the ass end.

Many nations bowed to Persia, as many men have bowed to women. Of course, Spartans… well, we have our reputation to consider. We are the kind of men they don’t make anymore. We will stand and fight, to the death if necessary. We know we will most likely lose but we refuse to go quietly.

Yes, I said it. We will lose. You just cannot win an argument with a woman. It is impossible. That doesn’t mean we fight in vain though. The world will know that few stood against many… that free men stood against tyranny. And before the battle is over even a woman’s relentless illogical bitching can bleed.

Since it doesn’t get any better than calling women tyrants, I leave you with that.

Why Geeks and Nerds Are Worth It...

Hey everyone! Hahaha, well I've been surfing the net and this shoutout caught my attention. It was titled "Why Geeks and Nerds Are Worth It...". When I was done reading it.. I realised, wow man... it's optimistic at it's best! Check it out!

The following are reasons why I think my fellow females should pay more attention to the quiet geeks and nerds, and less attention to the flashy boys.

1.) While geeks and nerds may be awkward, they’re well-meaning 9 out of 10 times. That smooth dude with the sly grin and the spider hands? Wonder what HIS intentions are... plus, I’ve never had a geek guy not call me when he said he would. Score major points THERE.

2.) They’re useful. In this tech-savvy world, it’s great to have a b/f who can make your laptop, desktop, and just about anything else that plugs into a wall behave itself.

3.) They’re more romantic than they’re given credit for. Ok true, their idea of romance might be to make up a spiffy web-page with all the reasons why they love you, with links to pics of you and sonnets and such... but hey. It lasts longer than flowers, plus you can show your friends.

4.) Due to their neglected status, there are plenty to choose from. You like ‘em tall and slender? There are plenty of geeks/nerds who are. You like ‘em smaller with more meat on their bones? Got that too.

5.) They’ve got brains. Come on now, how can intelligence be a bad thing? I'll bet flashy boys can't even answer simple calculus or algebra questions. These are some good example of these 'flashy boys with their flashy exam answers."











6.) Most are quite good at remembering dates. Like birthdates and such, especially if they know it’ll make you happy. Due again to their neglected status, they’re more attentive than guys who “have more options”. Plus, with all that down time without a steady girlfriend, they’ll likely have mental lists of all the things they’d love to do once they GOT a girlfriend.

7.) Sex. Yep. Sex. I’m not really familiar with this myself, but I’ve friends who’ve been intimate with geek guys and it’s raves all around. They say a virgin wrote the Kama Sutra... all that time thinking about sex, imagining sex, dreaming about sex, (they are male after all) coupled with a desire to make you happy? Use your imagination.

8.) They’re relatively low-maintenance. Most can be fueled on pizza, Twinkies and Mt Dew. No complicated dinners needed here, so if you’re not the best cook, eh. Can you order a pizza?

9.) Most frequent bars as often as slugs frequent salt mines. You won’t have to worry much about your geek guy getting his “groove” on with club hotties because, frankly, he’ll be too busy rooting around under his computer wondering where that spare cable went. You won’t have to worry about him flirting with other women because, 9 out of 10 times, he’ll zip right by them in a perfect b-line towards the nearest electronics store. For example.

Me: “Eww. Victoria Secret’s Models... They’re so skinny. How is that feminine? You can see her ribs!”
Geek Guy: “ooooooo...”
Me: “Hey!” *notices he is staring lustfully towards the computer store*
Geek Guy: “What?” Me: “Never mind...”

10.) Although he may not want to go to every outing with you, you can arrange swaps, as in, you’ll go to his Gamer Con dressed as an elf princess if he’ll take you to the ballet. Plus, if he doesn’t want to go someplace with you, you won’t have to worry much about what he’s up to. You’ll probably come home to find him asleep on his keyboard in a sea of Mt. Dew cans with code blinking from the screen. It’s ok. He’s used to this. Just toss a blanket over him and turn out the light.

11.) His friends aren’t jerks. I can’t stress this enough. You’ll more likely get “Omg! A GIRL!! Can I see?!” than “Hey hot stuff back that ass up here and let me get some grub on...” They’re awkward geeks too and will, 9 times out of 10, treat you with the utmost respect and, more than likely, a note of awe. A cute girl picked one of their clan to date? It could happen to them! Hope! Drag some of your single girlfriends over, open up a pack of Mt. Dew, crack open the DnD set and get working. Nothing impresses geek guys more than a girl who can hack-n-slash (well ok maybe if she can code... a geek can dream).

12.) They’re rarely if ever possessive. They trust you, so you can be yourself around them. You like to walk around the house in a ratty t-shirt for comfort? He won’t care. He does too! They won’t get pissy if you don’t wear make-up or don’t want to bother primping your hair. If you gain a few pounds, they won’t try their best to make you feel like crap.

13.) They’re usually very well educated. Physics majors and the like. See #5. You won’t have to listen to him blathering on about his car (ok maybe a little), he’ll have loads of other interesting things to talk about. Politics, world events, how much the chicken burgers down at the local place rock, so long as you douse them in hot sauce...

14.) You’ll almost never have to hear, “Yaw dawg whazzap!!” plop out of their mouths. Unless it’s in jest. They spell properly, use correct punctuation, and are able to tell the difference between the toilet and the floor. They almost never get “wasted”, so you won’t have to worry about coming home to find him and his friends passed out on the floor amidst a pile of beer bottles. Mt. Dew cans, perhaps...

15.) And the final reason why geeks and nerds make great boyfriends: They actually give a damn about you. Not how you look (though that’s a plus), not how skinny you are, not how much make-up you primp yourself up with, but they like you for you. That kind of thing lasts longer than “DaMN baby you got a fine ass!!!” Believe me.

Back To The Future 1... The Human Evolution

I've evolved so much some ppl say. It's evolution! Kicks in when u least expect it to happen. Come with me on a journey which is 3 pictures long through Ming's ever changing appearance.

10th Jan 1989,


10th Jan 2007,


23rd Mac 2007,


12th July 2007,



The evolution doesn't just effect me. The whole human race is affected by it! It's Contagious baby!

From the goody good ppl of The OC,


To the rappers from 8 Miles, Central Oklahoma,


And lastly the infamous Coyote Ugly!


But certain things just never change. NEVER! Such as:

Friendships












J-Tan being... J-Tan. Him wearing his infamous PORNSTAR boxers




Some being a bit gay and sick.










Sean being a retard


Having the same color no matter how much you ferment or tan.




And nerds... yeah nerds... will always get picked on!


Till then!
P/S: I'll be posting the Open Day event real soon! I'm collecting resources so... pls wait!!!!

Good Engrish!!! Damn right!

Well today was the 3rd day of preparation till IS Open day! Attractions are like... WOW!!! As in WOW and will make u say Yoh before the Fu which makes the sounds like this, FU-YOH!!!

One of the main attractions i personally think will be packed is the IT. Dota matches, 5v5 tournaments, Grand Turismo best timed winner, Dragon Ball Z series best player etc.. just for 3 bucks only man! And the grand prizes are a lot man! It's worth it!

Anyway, back to my main topic. Don't get me wrong with Malaysians and their 'fluent' english language. Having problems speaking in english is okay but putting up broken english for your ads? Nah... not a wise choice.

It'll be up there for many freakin days, and do you know what's the best part? Your telling the world this, 'I suck at english, I don't know about it and I'm proud!' *snort*

Sean and I were having lunch at this place below Karamunsing complex which was called Kopicat. Before you step in, let me give u the 1st warning. The has an Unpleasant Stinky Odourly Old Oldy Smelly Fishy Smell. Ugh... I disgust (Borat).

Though the death smell may kill even the strongest of strong ppl, we managed to survive. Breathing through our mouth of course! The food was better than expected. I ordered 12 inch sausage, korean noodle soup with chicken chop and root beer float while Sean had Udon.

While I was eating i realise that OMG!

Oh no................... <---- the wat-chu-ma-call-it OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! *Warning cacat engrish detected!* I saw the ad... with broken engrish!



I was thinking if i ordered these stuff would it come out like this?

Ming: one pocket sandWITCH with special BLED pls!

*Minutes later....

Waiter: Here sir! Your pocket sandWITCH with special BLED!





WTH! Lol... anyway, I'll keep u guys updated with the IS Open Day event! Till then! Bye!

Retardlympics 2007!

Went to school today by taxi. Todays taxi driver was like high on drugs man. He was so active! Over active to define it. He could do double sniffs in 0.5seconds and he did it non stop till he dropped me off STTSS. *sniff sniff here, sniff sniff there, EVERYWHERE MAN!*

Here's a pic of him for your reference.



His really kind though and yeah mind his hands.... they just can't stop touching stuff. They're very touchy.. =D

Did you know I.S. LH1 held the infamous Retardlympics this year?!? And we're proud of it! Boo Yeah! Today's event is, chair racing! Old School man! And the contestants are:

1. Daniel 'Black' Samraj
2. Jonathan 'Crimson' Chin
3. Bryan 'Ba-la-yan' Wong



And the count down begins....
3...
2..
1.
GO!

To view the event we will post the video at YouTube soon.

Winner is..... Bryan 'Ba-la-yan' Wong for being the slowest and dumpest due to the fact that he didn't move an inch and went the opposite direction of the race! Congrats!



Later... there was a fight between two teams. One is all Ah Beng's while the others are class bullies.
















TO BE CONTINUED....


Well, lately ppl have been telling me, 'Hei Ming, why don't you be a lawyer? Money's good too!'
Hahaha... me? A lawyer? You must be joking?!

They say a good lawyer could make you believe a red pen is a blue vice versa. Dam... I can't even do that!

Watch what happaned!
Comparing my skills with a law student!

1. Lawyer Student





Visual Change...





2. Hong Ming



No Visual CHANGE!!!!







Visual Change...





See!!! I can't be no lawyer!

Guys! IS Open Day will this Sunday from 8 to 2 at STTSS! Come for the fun, bazaar and education fairs! Coupons are available on that day too!

Oh yeah.... Today we had ISODOC meeting for IS Opem Day. It was a bit boring, so sean and I were like saying 'Yeah, I agree, No, Not good etc...' at the comments made by the lecturers. And the whole room became noisy! LOL!







P/S: JTan has a wicked set of boxers each saying things like: Pornstar, Part Time Lover, Millionaire, Old Fart.