Reasons to Become an Evil Villain

1. Popularity
Villains are somehow, executives in this field. They are, yes, dam popular! For instance, Peter Parker from Spiderman.... his has issues with society. He's a social outcast, a complete retard. All heroes are retards. Hey, but wait. Take a look at Norman Osbourn, he's a villain, he's freaking popular! Whatever you do, most likely it will end up in the papers. So get it right. Hero=Social Retards, Villains=Public Celebrity


Norman Osbourn. Super popular evil villain


Peter Parker. Hero. Social outcast

2. You get to laugh maniacally
No one, not even God has ever heard Spidy or Batman laugh like hell. The type of laugh when you see this guy being hammered to death by a bunch of fanatics with ham choi held by their hands. No! And trust me... no one ever will hear them laugh like that. Well, everyone has an obsession with the maniac laugh. Heck, you've even done it once or twice in your civilian life. But as a villain, you will never get the amount of chances to do it with a career in villainy.

3. Christmas all year round
Super bad guys are never broke. Not only are they never broke but they always have more resources than the hero could ever hope for. Apparently the villain racket pays very well. I hear the tax breaks are good too.


Significantly poor.


Another villain's trash is another heroes treasure.


Cool gear all year round!

4. Hot chicks dig evil guys
You never see an evil villain with a busted ass woman. Sure, they may be dirty, rotten, and out to steal your empire, but you can always kill them if they get out of hand. Studies show that breasts of women who hang out with evil guys are an average of two cups bigger than the nice dudes chicks. Studies don’t ever lie.

5. You will be safe from everyday accidents
Evil villains are never killed in car accidents. It just doesn’t happen. You won’t slip in the shower, get smashed by a falling piano, or die of food poisoning. It's just not tragic enough for a villain to die like that. The only way you can be killed is in an explosion created by the hero by exposing the one flaw in your plan that 'no one' could ever 'possibly' foresee. Yeah, this often happens.

6. You don’t have to worry about anyone killing you
Evil Villains simply can not be killed. People may think you are dead but you will secretly be lounging in an easy chair on your secret desert island hideout planning your next caper. The only way you can be taken out is by another villain eviler than yourself who will subsequently take over your identity and continue upon your path of world domination. Sad job but satisfying.

7. You can kill anyone you want
You won’t go to jail. For some strange reason, cops never come to bust Evil villains at their homes even when the evidence is overwhelming. You could kill Superman on a live video feed in front of the entire planet and not one cop would try to arrest you. They can’t even arrest you for the stash of plutonium you have in your shed. It is in the charter when you join the union.

8. You get to dress how you want
You can even dress in the most outrageous outfits while demanding the world bow to your demands and no one will even make the slightest of snide comment. This could have something to do with the fact that you can kill anyone you want and can’t be killed back. Remember, no one ever made fun of Magnetos helmet…


Wicked outfits!

9. No matter how weak you are, you will be more than a match for any hero facing you
“But Ming, Batman would kick my ass in two shakes…” None of that matters. The sheer newness of your evil plot will confuse the hell out of any good guy. As long as you aren’t doing something that has been done to death (i.e goblin themed villains) you should have no problem getting your plans off the ground.