9 reasons Valentines Day sucks

Why does V' Day suck? Well... an example. In IS there is 4 groups of people. 1st is the Bold and the Glamorous. 2nd is the Average Joes. 3rd is the Geeks and Nerds and lastly the 4th are the
'I Don't Give A Damn About You' people.

With some basic knowledge we know on V Day, the Group 1s are receiving more gifts and love notes from the other 3 groups. They can never ever drop to other groups unless.... Unless somehow they mutated and turned ugly and horrid.

Group 2s are just the normal people. Stuck in between the beauties and the beasts. Some get gifts, some don't. They are just plan normal.

Group 3s are sad sad people. On every V Day, their self esteem drops. Why? Well, they see the 1st and 2nd Groups are getting stuff from their admirers and they can't get em love from anyone except from their family. What do they do? They write love notes to themself. Pretending it's from some unknown lover. Pathetic.

Group 4s are the extinct peeps. They just don't exist. (End of Story)

I personally hate V Day, though I'm forced to express my love to Charmaine by playing songs with a rusty guitar over the phone. No worries baby.... I hope. Anyway, back to the main topic, 9 reasons Valentine's Day Suck.

1. It’s a girls holiday

Nowhere in anything involved with this foul and dark day is there even a speck in any way related to man stuff. There is no Sparta law(take a look at Sparta Law here), no sizzling bacon, no drinking the blood of our enemies. There is only pink stuff, hearts, flowers, and fat women crying because they are alone. It is no place for a man.


2. Dancing

This is a day women love to dance. I would rather chop wood in a blizzard with a damn butter knife than do a dance. Women dance. Men chop wood in blizzards.


3. People in love

Every other day of the year I get sick of seeing people walking around all in love. On Valentines Day it becomes an epidemic, polluting the atmosphere and leaving a dark cloud over the daily Self-Pleasurism ceremony. Anything that leaves a dark cloud over the daily Self-Pleasureism ceremony is worse than death.


4. It’s Expensive

Corporations take too much advantage of this crap. What other time of the year can you buy over-glorified snickers bars in a heart shaped box for three easy payments of RM49.95? “But zero, you can just go to the dollar store and…” No wonder you aren’t getting laid. Women know man, women know…


5. Cupid

First of all, believing in baby angels that shoot love arrows is gay. Secondly, the image of a midget in a diaper shooting innocent folks with arrows is really damn weird. Arrows are the tools of Persian cowards. If he was a real man he would have a sword and at least three fourths of a Favre-esque man-beard.


6. “Cute”

The word “cute” should never be used by a man unless he is talking about a chick he might date if he had enough liquor in him. If you get bored today, count the number of times you hear a woman say the word “cute”. Then count the number of times you hear a man say it. For every time you hear a man say it, kill a kitten.


7. Pink

This color is like kryptonite to manhood. There is a reason no sports team in the world would dare wear the color pink; they would get the shit kicked out of them every time they took the field.


8. The stupid inevitable question…

“What are your plans for Valentines Day?” asked by every dumb girl you know. When you say “Nothing”, she always gives you that stupid look that says “Aw, poor lonely guy.” Ding dong women. “Nothing” is better than “eating ice cream by the tubload while crying my eyes out to the Oxygen Channel”, which is what she would do if she found herself single on Valentines Day.


9. Ex-Girlfriends

Always wanting to call or leave you a message saying how much they hope you are enjoying Valentines Day. “I hope your having a wonderful day! XOXO…” First of all ladies, it is xxoo and that doesn’t mean hugs and kisses, it means suck my bolas. Secondly, shut up.

Thank you. And men..... chant this in your sleep especially you CCW and Crimson Chin, 'We are Spartans!